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Why am I not having orgasms?

by Alivia Nyhan
Published: Last Updated on

The female orgasm is a mystery and a very complex one. Some women have no problem reaching it and can even have it several times in the same meeting. However, there are others who, no matter how much they want it with all the power of their excitement, cannot see the light of stars or lose their mind shouting. Are women who cannot have an orgasm abnormal? Well no! To reach the climax, many factors intervene, and that has to be in absolute control at the time of the sexual act, for example, the mind, which can be treacherous or play in your favor.

Orgasm is the culmination of sexual arousal, a shocking sensation, the greatest enjoyment that the body can experience; it is the loss of reason through pleasure; it is the explosion of all the senses and every part of the body. Being the orgasm so desired and so magical, it is not surprising that its absence represents frustration, fear, shame, and uncertainty, causing that question that becomes constant: why I do not have orgasms. The truth is that the answers can be many, and in this FastlyHealarticle, we explain them to you.

Foreplay does matter

Many people do not give pre-stimulation the importance it requires and believe that a few minutes of stimulation is enough to achieve full arousal. The truth is that the female body needs 20 minutes to be aroused; for this reason, penetration often begins without the woman being thoroughly lubricated, giving rise to an act that can be painful and whose rhythm can be unpleasant for the woman’s pleasure, preventing her from reaching orgasm.

When adequate stimulation is performed and enough time is taken to arouse the woman, she is more prepared to receive sensations and experience total arousal. Of course, it is also essential that the woman allows herself to feel, that she releases all kinds of control that you may be exercising on your body and concentrate on noticing those touches that cause you pleasure. Therefore, a sexual act that begins very soon without having dedicated time to foreplay makes it challenging to achieve a female orgasm, as it is essential to bear in mind that male arousal is different from female arousal since the man has the Only way to transport sensations to the brain (the penis) The woman has four erogenous zones in her genitals that must be stimulated correctly.

Do you know your body?

Many women who often wonder why they do not have orgasms experience sexual intercourse where they are not stimulated in the areas where their bodies can perceive greater pleasure. To end this limitation, the woman must dedicate herself to knowing her intimate area in-depth and discover through masturbation the key points that offer her more incredible excitement in her genitals. It is also important to recognize other erogenous zones of the body and the vagina, such as the breasts, ears, neck, crotch, buttocks, or thighs.

Once the woman knows which parts of her body she should be caressed, she can then guide her partner so that she can touch him where he should and how he should and help him be more prepared at the moment of penetration to obtain a pleasant and pleasant encounter. To be able to reach orgasm.

The mind is treacherous.

Many thoughts can appear during the sexual act that distracts our attention and prevent us from feeling pleasure. Many times physical insecurities take over our minds during sex, causing us to start thinking if we are fat, if our partner likes what they see, if we have more cellulite on one side than the other or if the belly and breasts they bounce to the rhythm of penetration: enough!

An effort must be made to internalize that in sex, there is no room for complexes, that it is a moment that we deserve to enjoy, and that in whatever way our physique is, we are capable of receiving pleasure. Focusing on the caresses we receive can help us focus our attention solely on what we feel and stop all those thoughts that only sabotage pleasure. It is not an easy task, but it is not impossible either. If you are one of those who are the victim of his thoughts during sex, you will find that orgasm that you want so much the day you give yourself body and mind to the sexual act and give yourself the permission to feel and receive all the pleasure you are asking for.

If, on the other hand, you consider that you have tried everything and that there is no way you can disconnect in each sexual relationship, we advise you to go to a psychologist or to talk about your fears and insecurities about intimacy, many times we do not have orgasms due to a lack of self-esteem or because we consider that sex is only for male enjoyment. Fortunately, this problem has a solution, and once you are clear about what is holding you back, you can begin to experience all the orgasms you have missed so far.

The fearful anorgasmia

Anorgasmia is the female inability to reach orgasms during sexual intercourse. This condition can occur primarily when orgasm is not achieved by stimulation, or it can be secondary when orgasms have been had in the past but not currently.

Contrary to what is believed, anorgasmia is a condition that responds in 90% of cases to psychological and not physiological issues, so there are many alternatives to solve it. If you think this is your problem, the first thing you should do is visit a sexologist who can help you discover why your body and mind resist pleasure or advise you on overcoming a trauma that is preventing you from enjoying sex.

Anorgasmia is often caused by marital problems, lack of communication with a partner, traumatic sexual experiences, low self-esteem, and feelings of guilt when having sex. However, there are also substances such as drugs, alcohol, and some medications that stimulate the appearance of anorgasmia. At FastlyHealwe offer you the following tips that can help you overcome this condition:

  • As we mentioned before, dedicate yourself to knowing your body so that you can know where and how to receive pleasure. An excellent way to do this is to touch yourself alone and, with the help of a mirror, observe your intimate area and recognize the rhythm, the place, and the gentleness with which you like to be touched.
  • In a Relationship, suggest more extensive foreplay to identify those erogenous zones of your body where you feel pleasure, which is foreign to your genitals: the ear, neck, pelvis, nape, etc.
  • Delay penetration as long as you can until you are highly lubricated to feel even more pleasure during intercourse.
  • Perform Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor and have more powerful orgasms.
  • Read erotic literature to let your imagination run wild and be more creative when you need pleasure.
  • Free your mind from taboos and thoughts that prevent you from enjoying yourself. A good way is to exercise every day, as this will help improve your self-esteem and mood.

Why don’t I have penetrative orgasms?

Advertising and pornographic films have given us the thought that every woman can obtain powerful orgasms only with penetration. The truth is that not all women have the ability to feel pleasure during intercourse, but rather their most tremendous excitement. It is obtained through the stimulation of the clitoris, which is why they receive orgasms through masturbation or toys and not through sexual acts.

If you are worried that you cannot reach orgasm while having sex with your partner, do not mortify yourself. It is normal; to ask your partner to stimulate your clitoris or any other area of ​​your body that triggers maximum pleasure in you during penetration. Together you can enjoy the process of reaching climax. If you have previously had penetrative orgasms and now it is more difficult for you, check that you are well lubricated during sexual intercourse so that the relationship is not painful and you can feel more pleasure.

Other reasons that make it difficult to reach an orgasm

  • It was under a lot of stress.
  • Problems with the partner or sexual monotony.
  • Shy when asking for stimulation.
  • Traumatic sexual experiences.
  • Sexual biases.
  • Fear of getting pregnant
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Diseases such as multiple sclerosis or spinal cord problems.
  • Depression or anxiety

If you suspect that your problem could be due to an underlying health condition, do not hesitate to see a doctor for a general check-up. On the other hand, if the problem lies in past trauma, insecurity, or fears, it is best to go to a psychologist or sexologist to discuss your worries and overcome them.

This article is merely informative, at FastlyHeal .com we do not have the power to prescribe medical treatments or make any type of diagnosis. We invite you to see a doctor in the case of presenting any type of condition or discomfort.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why am I not having orgasms , we recommend that you enter our Sexuality category .

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