Much of who we are, our way of understanding the world, the way we face problems, and the psychological instincts that lead us to act in one direction or another, are conditioned by the affective relationships that we have created with our parents. from birth, both for quality and quantity.
In our world, with all its rush, its inflexible schedules, and the increasingly acute need to rush up and down, it becomes tough to spend enough time with children, and the hours that are paid are not always quality.
Not spending enough time with the child when he is forming his emotional world, is beginning to explore his surroundings, and is discovering the sensations awakened in him can be detrimental to his emotional integrity, something that can drag during the rest of their life.
Next, in FastlyHeal, we will give you the Definition of affective bonding to understand the importance of socialization between parents and baby and the consequences that this will have throughout their lives.
Table of Contents
Affective bonding concept
Affective bonding is the bonding process between a child and his parents, especially the mother, which is essential in the formation of affective ties that subsequently influence the physical and psychological development of the child. In the initiation of affective bonds, eye contact, caresses, reassuring talk, and other affective behaviors that begin to create positive emotional bonds are of particular importance.
Mothers are more concerned with physical contact, while fathers try to foster in the child a sense of absorption, concern, and visual interest; this has been called parental absorption.
Although adequate bonding is considered an emotional response primarily, there is speculation about the possible existence of some biochemical and hormonal interaction in the mother capable of stimulating this response, but the studies are not yet conclusive. However, affective bonding does not have to occur only between mothers and children; an emotional bond can also be established between friends who have a solid and trusting friendship relationship, which implies a series of factors such as affection, affection, concern, and respect.
Origin and types of affective bonding
The first researchers to talk about and study parent-child bonding were John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. In 1951, Bowlby demonstrated the vital role of stronger bonding in a baby’s emotional development while warning of the negative consequences of a mother-child separation.
Mary Ainsworth distinguished between 4 types of affective bonding, collecting the different ties that can unite the child with his mother:
Affective bond of security
Children who have forged a secure bond with their mother often show rejection when she leaves, either crying or protesting, and express happiness and joy when she returns.
The mother is a safe area for them, so they often wander away to explore but return intermittently to feel safe. In general, these babies do not usually feel anger and cooperate with the mother to facilitate specific tasks.
Affective bond of avoidance
Babies with this affective bond do not cry or kick when the mother leaves; however, they also do not show signs of happiness but rather avoid it when the mother returns. Their temperament makes them easily upset – they don’t like being picked up, nor do they want you to stop doing it – and they withdraw from the mother even when they need help.
Ambivalent or resistant bonding
They are the most difficult children to calm down, as they have conflicting feelings and attitudes. If they leave the mother, they feel anxious and upset, but when she returns, despite constantly seeking contact with her, they continue to scream and kick. Unlike those who have established an effective security bond, they are not usually very given to exploring.
Like those with ambivalent attachment, their behaviors also seem contradictory to us. They show happiness when the mother arrives, but then they move away from her or approach her without making eye contact; their movements seem guided by fear or confusion, without knowing very well what they are doing.
Tips to improve the emotional bond
As we explained initially, good bonding is not based simply on spending more time with your child, but on the quality of time you dedicate. The hours you can pay with him do not depend so much on you as on your obligations, but the quality of your relationships can be improved and at FastlyHealwe want to help you do so. Below we will give you a series of tips so that you can enhance the emotional bond with your children:
Learn to listen
Compared to the problems of adult life, most children’s problems seem trivial to us. They do not have our logic or the ability to anticipate the consequences, so we cannot understand the importance and impact of these problems. Therefore, in the face of any need that the child has, we must be there to listen to him, to understand what is happening to him.
This objective is not to solve all your problems, but it goes much further. If we do this from a young age, the child receives a great positive message because he understands that whenever he needs it, his parents will be there to listen and help him.
Adolescents who from early childhood have relied on their parents to be able to explain their problems; when they reach this convulsive stage of adolescence, they continue to count on them as a reference to be able to solve their setbacks.
Do you know what parental resilience is?
Resilience is a concept that is applied to materials, and that describes their ability to bend and deform without breaking and later return to their original position. John Bowlby was the first to use it in psychology. Making an analogy with its physical Definition describes it as the ability of certain people to cope with adverse life circumstances and overcome trauma and challenging experiences.
Parents should always try to take care of their children, both physically and emotionally; however, this should not become a constant search for what the child dislikes to end it and avoid suffering. A resilient parent must be able to reconcile care and affection with the ability to teach that life has moments of pain and frustration, which can be overcome through self-confidence and the help of your loved ones. The child must be reinforced from the positivism and the security that he will get ahead; there is neither to deny him the problems or create discouragement.
Teach him to talk about his feelings
One of the main elements of building a healthy personality is that the child learns to speak and show his feelings. To achieve this, you have to start introducing the emotional factor in conversations from a young age.
When he arrives crying from school, when he has a tantrum, or when you see that there is something that worries him, ask him about how he feels and the feelings he is experiencing. A good time to do this is when he is lying in bed before going to sleep when he is calm and can reflect, then you can share feelings, explain what has upset you about his behavior or what has made you angry, and He can explain to you how he felt.
You have to be consistent.
Parents are the primary references and role models for their children, at least until adolescence. That is why it is necessary to maintain coherence between what is done and what is said; we cannot tell you that something that we later do is wrong; in turn, you have to be consistent over time, something that today is right tomorrow should also be wrong. The child must move in a predictable environment and know the consequences of the actions.
Democratic education is based on the child feel accepted and loved but must also understand the importance of rules and regulations. To achieve this, you have to be generous with him but establish clear lines of conduct that should not be exceeded.
If a clear limit is not established, the child’s demands will increase, believing that he is in his right to do so; if so, he will be the one who takes control over you.
The time, if it is leisure better.
Not only is it enough to spend more time with the children, but the quality of the hours we spend with them will also be decisive in their subsequent emotional development. Today, with the proliferation of electronic devices, it is increasingly challenging to find communication spaces where parents and children can enjoy leisure time. But if they don’t exist, you have to look for those spaces where you can all play together, read a story, or talk about anything that interests you.
This article is merely informative, at FastlyHeal .com we do not have the power to prescribe medical treatments or make any type of diagnosis. We invite you to see a doctor in the case of presenting any type of condition or discomfort.
If you want to read more articles similar to Definition of affective bonding , we recommend that you enter our Medical Dictionary category .
I am a Surgeon with a diploma in comprehensive ultrasound and surgical care residency, an area I am specializing in. During the exercise of my profession, I have realized the need for patients to know the diseases they suffer, and I can tell you that a large part of their complications is due to a lack of information. Being a health web writer allows me to transmit my experience, without borders, to all those readers eager for knowledge, educate them in the prevention of diseases and promote a healthy lifestyle.